As of late, I’ve had to sit with myself and honestly reflect on me. Who I am, what I want, all those introspective questions. And truly, I don’t feel I have the appropriate answer to any of those questions.
I’m working on figuring a lot of that out. But today I stumbled upon a video that essentially discussed the inner genuine question. What do I reject about myself? Which as a baseline is self-rejection.
What about me do I not really love that I keep in the shadows?
One of the things I truly keep in the shadows is my body dysmorphia. I have a lot of self-esteem issues and lack of self-confidence when it comes to my body. Even though I have never been rejected for my body, I don’t always have the kindest eyes when I’m looking at myself. I hide my sexuality and I keep it internal, when at it’s core. Sexuality is exploration with the internal self and external desires.
That’s what I’m afraid of.
Which, I think that’s what I’m going to start addressing.
And photographing. Because I deserve it and want it.