Alright, so here's the crazy thing. Where in the world am I with photography? Nowhere. And who did I fall behind? ME. MY old self is beating me. And that's pathetic.
I need to be better than the old me. Have I learned nothing? Fuck. I have, but I'm not applying it. I'm letting everything fall apart. And why?
Because I don't have any self-discipline, I'm not holding myself accountable for anything. I'm holding myself to nothing. I'm a creative. I know I'm meant to enjoy this life and bask in everything that it is.
But you know what I love more than just enjoying and basking. Is enjoying and basking in the work that I create. That's what I love. I love seeing me. I love seeing what I can do.
Is it so terrible that I want to see the fruits of my labor? My own personal work and effort. That's what I want to see. And I don't know why I didn't realize this about myself sooner.
But here we are in a induced state of euphoria and released inhibition.
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Also, this is what we're doing. Updating the one thing I've just been doing for me over a year later.
I need to recap. And I need to re-evaluate myself as a whole.
This past year. The changes at my work. All of it.
I will admit that of course I would love to be Instagram famous or something and have a bajillion followers because it'd inflate my ego and I'd love every bit of it. But, it's obviously not a necessity.
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This is my journal, for me. More to follow.